No-Edit Feel-Good Living

Another no-edit post except to fix my inevitable spelling and typing errors.

Among all the projects and strategies I use in my life, I'm finding some especially satisfying ones recently. Or rather, I've been more conscious of them recently. I know they are significant when they find their way onto my daily lists. In amongst the "make doctor's appointment" and "change kitty litter" I include such mundane items as "eat good food," "go for a walk," "prep veggies for dinner." I also include some tasks that are more acknowledgement than prompt: "breast feed" and "drink water." If I only do those things, I have nevertheless had a successful day.

I don't know why it's so powerful, though, to list some of those basics. Maybe because I get so caught up in the baby-feeding cycle that I *forget* to eat good food. I eat snacks all day and forget that what I *really* want to do is eat good food.

Over the past couple months, I've been re-nurturing some of these good habits I took for granted when I had more free time than I really knew what to do with productively. Now, it feels incredibly refreshing to not just worry about things I am doing badly (ie eating too much sugar or letting my muscles get too tight from lack of stretching), but to name the things I want to do well. Thus, a list:

1. Eat good food. This can be anything from a full cooked meal to healthy snacks.

2. Cut up or pre-prepare food for snacking. Instead of grabbing the chocolate or junk because it's close, I keep really yummy food near by and ready to eat. Some recent eats: Carrots and celery cut into sticks for dipping into hummus. Green seedless grapes washed and snipped into small servings in a box in the fridge. Dried apricots or raisins with raw almonds or walnuts.

3. Keeping my portion sizes modest. Instead of eating a huge sandwich, I'll eat a modest one. Or instead of two huge pieces of cheese for my breakfast sandwich, I'll stick with one. Or when making a huge stir fry, I'll portion out the remains for another lunch or dinner instead of eating until I'm stuffed.

4. Eat regularly. On the other side of the coin, sometimes I forget to eat at all. Eat! Eat! Just eat well.

5. Balance the carbohydrates with protein and fats. This seems to help me keep my blood sugar, not to mention my mood, on a more even keel. So even when having a bit of chocolate or sweets, I make sure I start with a bit of protein to even it out. Nuts in moderation are a good stand by.

6. Avoid sugar and chocolate when I am feeling stressed or more hyper than usual. I've been especially conscious of this one recently. I hear from some of my friends with more serious health issues that it's very hard on the body when the adrenal system is induced to stay in a fight-or-flight holding pattern. Adrenaline is great for keeping us going for the short term or longer term as needed, but it can lead to chronic illness.

In my own mind, I have connected the dots between high levels of cortisol from living with high levels of stress (from being "Type A" personality or living with harassment, racism, any kind of physical-mental-sexual-emotional abuse), and high levels of heart disease and other illnesses impacted by a stressed adrenal system. Sleep disorders, metabolism issues, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue syndrome anyone? I don't have ALL the science or ALL the answers, but I can certainly draw some conclusions and speculate. The upshot of all this is that I try to AVOID sugar and chocolate when I am stressed or fighting off something. Simply reminding myself to be gentle with my adrenal system helps me treat myself better.

7. Avoid stress and stewing. Well, I try! Certain people and situations can be very stressful for me. Sometimes I need to vacate myself or to practice healthy distraction to avoid *stewing* in the stress or letting things run endlessly through my mind. Sometimes I deliberately find a new target for my attention just to help me jump out of the mental-emotional rut. Sometimes I have to declare my intent out loud, as in: I am not going to let that person ruin my body through stress. Sometimes I practice some deep breathing to help lower my blood pressure. Sometimes I walk away and decline to engage. Sometimes I have to choose between "politeness" and my health (but not often).

8. Eat less salt. This is right up there with sugar and caffeine. I don't eat much additional salt to begin with, but again, being more conscious of it helps me make better choices than high-sodium ones.

9. Stretch. Move. I used to do yoga with my husband. We hardly have time for that at home, much less taking a class. But incorporating some stretches in my day helps. Every little bit helps, dontcha know?! :) I get up, I stretch my arms over my head and turn my head from side to side. I tilt my head, sit up straight, then run through a few pelvic tilts to wake up my spine. When I take a bath, I do a few sets of long leg stretches and lifts in the water. I wash my hair while letting my legs float up and down and engaging the abdominals. I do wrist and ankle rotations while I'm sitting nursing. I dance around to music to wake up my aerobic system and entertain the baby at the same time. I lift her over my head. If I go out to get the paper, I try to make a longer loop through the yard. I park farther away from the door of the grocery store so I get a longer walk. I prefer to go for longer walks, but again, every little bit helps.


I know all this stuff, but I get distracted by other things going on. I'm going to keep on adding these, in different incarnations, to my everyday lists.

I'm pleased with the huge difference a small amount of attention (and reminders to pay attention) can make. The big payoff is not just that I can check something off my list but by how good I feel. I can feel the results.


And one more.

10. Actually go to bed at a reasonable hour so I can get more sleep! Oh, I guess I need to add this to the list, eh? Okay, I can make that happen. Off I go. :)



Epilogue: I started this post thinking about being overdosed on adrenaline, and worked my way around to it from a direction I thought might get me there. I might be able to say all this more succinctly if I could edit it down, but no time to fuss with it! Such is the frustrations and beauty of the no-edit exercise.
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The Cute Is In The Details

I've been folding and sorting all these baby clothes people have been giving us. This includes finds from my Dad and sister, pass-alongs from friends, lovely things from relatives, and my own thrift store and yard sale acquisitions. It's quite the bounty, not just the gifts, but the found and passed-on clothing.

As I shake out a pair of wee little pants* to put on my daughter, Mr. Sweetie muses out loud, "Why do they put pockets on pants this small? They can't seriously imagine that babies are going to need pockets!" Why indeed.

*pants= that's trousers for you Brits.

When some clothes look too gender-specific in patterns or colors, or replete with cute little pockets or bows or even bizarre little decorations, I have to wonder, who are the clothing companies making these for?

Certainly, the babies don't care if they look cute. Most of them are already overflowing with cuteness. These design details are just superfluous.

Of the colors and patterns, I can guess that for those early babies, it can be hard to tell the gender of a child without additional cues. The code is: Trucks and Teddy bears and Rugby stripes are for boys and Flowers, Hearts and Butterflies are for girls. Never mind those arguments about how boys should be allowed to wear pink and little girls can wear anything with truck appliques. (Yeeeeaaah, right. Try that sometime and see how many people you confuse.) Or never mind even that we shouldn't be so concerned with gender at all.

Let's just admit for now that we humans are fixated on gender. I have come to accept that humans like to categorize things, and often aren't happy until everything can be placed in its box. I stymie the process with my love of greens and yellows on my little girl, but we have our share of pinks.

Oh, yes. Pink! The love or bane of every little girl. It's true that we have a load of cute clothing, but not all of it is pink. When we heard someone was throwing us a baby shower, I even asked for non-gender specific clothing to attempt to ward off the tsunami of pink. But we do have our share of it, yes, and darn it if it isn't cute, cute! I tell you.

One early favorite was pink terry cloth with a skunk applique. Why a skunk, I have no idea, but it's quirky and it's cute, and someone dear gave it to us. It was also well-worn and reliably soft and fuzzy. Alas, the little Wookie has already grown out of it!



And most of the onesies and sleepers - even the ones in yellow or green - have these adorable little details that the baby is in no position to appreciate. While breast feeding, I have been in a position to examine an awful lot of onesies and sleepers for hours. Most of them have bits of embroidery with ducks or "I love Daddy" or bizarre little bugs and flowers designs. Somebody, I think to myself, went through the bother of designing this schlock, decided it was good, then sent it overseas to be assembled with 6 different colors of embroidery thread. Or they designed these little pockets that needed a different kind of fabric and a matching ribbon. That's serious dedication to cute.



And then there are the ruffles, ribbons, and lacy edges. The necklines and sleeves of little girl onesies often have a line of thread that is stitched in a such a way to resemble a line of lace. It's ingenious, actually. Oh my, the ruffles. There is something about ruffles on the butt that makes people say awwwwww!



One of my favorite sleepers is a lovely shade of deep lavender with dear little tucks across the front and embroidered flower details in plum, pink and green. When the little Wookie wore it, she looked particularly adorable. Not only was it well-designed and well-made, it suited her auburn-ish coloring to a T. I was delighted when she grew into it, and I could hardly stand it when she finally outgrew it. boohoo!



Another of my favorites is absurdly girly. It's pink with a kind of silvery fleck pattern woven in, lacy edgings, a blowzy over-sized cut, and best of all, a couple lines of fabric ruffles sewn across the butt. It is not my style at all, but it is freakin adorable on the little Wookie. It makes me want to cuddle her to pieces, and snuggle her forever. What the heck is it about these soft pink ruffles that render me insensible?

I won't even get into the pink and cream sleeper my aunt sent me. Okay, okay, I will! It's pink with scattered dots of soft-cranberry and pinks with cream details and the cutest little lamb applique in two colors of soft fake fur and plenty of embroidered details. Oh my goodness, this thing is so cute!!



And my daughter hasn't even started pursuing textures to pet this little lamb, or has even learned what a lamb is yet! And yet, it inspires all kinds of feelings.


Since in the two months it's taken me to write this post, she's outgrown this sleeper as well. Boohoo!

I am starting to think that infants clothing is simply an outlet for our passionately in-love feelings about babies in general. Seeing or snuggling a cute baby in an adorable outfit heightens our feelings of love, awe and tenderness just that much more. What a cutie! What a sweetheart! We are often, or if lucky, always, smitten, and the clothing just screams: How insanely adorably can we be? The answer is: very.

I suppose babies are the same way. Little tiny noses, tiny sneezes, rows of perfect toes, ears, baby tears, chubby cheeks with dimples, the way they smack you with their hands or smack their lips after drinking milk to their stomach's content.



So while they are pretty cute to begin with, the details overwhelm us. And once we're insensible, they'll scream mighty decibels into ones ear at close range or klonk one in the head with flailing limbs or skull.

So scream in my ear, make me go deaf, turn purple, gift me with a creative array of fluids, yes and don't forget to kick me in the breast or klonk me in the face. Wear those ruffles and flash your dimples and I'm yours forever. May it be so.
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