Small Success: Diminishing Desk Pile

First, a little moment of silence and sympathy for the Chicago couple who was almost done in by their own garbage. (It's admittedly a big reminder that however daunting my clutter, my problems are piddling in comparison.) One of them fell through a pile, and the other also got stuck trying to rescue them. Weeks later, a neighbor got a little concerned. They were rescued, but in terrible condition. Sending out a little prayer of support to all the hoarders of the world. Take care of yourselves. You can get help.

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So I do follow Flylady, I do. But I've fallen off the wagon in terms of following the daily notes (take 15 min to clear your hotspot, vacuum the middle of the floors in 10 min, etc). I note the zone cleaning reminders and the quick challenges, but I don't actually go DO them, usually. Other than a few swish n swipes, I don't follow along.

I'm also pitiful about using the timer to help keep myself focused while I tackle tasks. It just seems like too much bother to make an effort when I have such little concentrated time to begin with. Too many right now kinds of demands to worry about the backlog.

But today and recently, I've been re-encouraged.

I go around clearing areas that have gotten swallowed in miscellaneous junk (i.e. "hotspots"), and then polishing those areas once they are clear. I've been collecting Items To Give Away in a box in the front hall. (It's so freeing when I make that decision and put something in there. Decision done!) The kitchen sideboard has benefited from this, also the kitchen counter closest to the sink. Slowly I am clearing, rearranging cleaning. Sometimes all it takes is clearing space to make way for a new piece of household scenery, and the space is transformed. I like being able to see the soft shine of my cherrywood china cabinet.

Today while the baby napped, I convinced myself to start on the monstrous pile that my desk has become.

In addition to the usual papers and leftover projects, and the ukulele sob!, it's been accumulating new papers, piles of baby clothing to sort, incomplete Christmas gifts, new checks, batteries, and odds and ends that I must suddenly put out of reach of my daughter. She stands up these days, you know, and often uses a hand or two to see what trinket or hazard she might grab. Sometimes I can distract her with a book or toy that lives here, but I'm still constantly throwing little things on the desk to get them out of her reach. When I sit at my computer, the desk pile reached nearly as high as the top of my head. Nothing I did seemed to make a dent. Plus more things kept getting added.

Today I told myself I was going to get below the first layer, yes, I was. I set my timer and started sorting.

Stuff to file, stuff to toss, stuff to give away.

In not too long, I could see the rest of my poor ukulele's case. And a blouse I meant to donate, and a travel list I'm going to need next month, and the baby monitor that we need to give back, and... Lots of things that really needed to be put elsewhere, many of them into the circular file under my desk *ahem* or in another room entirely, although most of my findings would still be useful if only I could find them.

After two or three fifteen-minute sessions, the average height of my desk pile is now only chest high when I'm sitting down. I can see, if not the end, the beginning of the end of the pile. Oh, yay! Just by making a dent in the clutter, I feel that it's actually possible to shrink it to nothing.

And then I can tackle all the other nagging areas of the house!

I still need to finish sorting out my new filing system, but now that I have my timer back in hand, life is so much more hopeful. A big yay! for getting back on the FlyLady timer bandwagon.
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Can't Get No Digital Satisfaction

One of the effects of my digital detox week was that I realized that online communities like Facebook, while useful for keeping connected in some way, are in other ways counterproductive.

Trying to have relationships by FB is like trying to eat a dinner of hors d'oeuvres. It may fill you up, but it can leave one feeling profoundly dissatisfied. And that feels so accurate, I want to say it again:

Profoundly dissatisfied.

Not to mention a little grouchy and irritated.

I know some people like those small bites at a tapas bar, but it just does not do it for me. I need a whole meal. And FB in particular does not do it for me.

In fact, seeing what everyone else is up to can exaggerate any feelings of isolation. Or I can feel heard but not understood, seen but not cared for.

I found that I enjoyed conversations when they occurred, but more often there is no conversation.

Often, I'm shouting into the forest. One's voice sounds weird there. It disappears into the trees, and maybe you get a rational and engaging response, or maybe you get strange and unsettling noises. Worse, the people who annoy me just a little in real life are irritating as hell on FB. Interactions either die away or they are magnified into something grotesque. Lots of stimulation with little resolution.

I'm not complaining about my friends, really. Most of them are lovely people. And if that's the only way I can talk to them, I'll take it. I've even learned more about some of my friends.

But when you want a real conversation, when you want someone to look at you and really appreciate what you are saying about your life, or when you want to appreciate what someone else is going through in their life, this ersatz medium just does not cut it.

You know how when you detox physically that you might have a negative reaction when you reintroduce various substances? After letting it go and coming back to it, I discovered that I am slightly allergic to FB. My psyche actually hates it, but it tastes just good enough that I still drop in to sample it from time to time.


In the last month, I've noticed myself, quite unconsciously, connecting with people in my real life community.

I've been introducing myself to a person here or there at dances. I find out a little more about who they are and what their story is.

Or I pause to talk to a friend and hear about what their life is currently like.

I take more time to snuggle my cats, hang out with my husband.

I spend some time talking to the bread ladies at the co-op.

I invite friends to meet me for an impromptu taco run.

I call my sister.

I even wrote a letter.


I like it. It's real life status updates. Live and in person, baby!

Instead of snagging twinkies out of the air, I'm sitting down to a light but full meal. I think it even has vegetables in it.
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Small Accomplishments with Summer Downpours

Some of my small accomplishments today:


Slept in a reasonable hour, but then got out of bed without audible whining.

Emailed two of my cousins about when we might visit them next month. Clarified days and possible times.

Looked at a friend's pictures.

Read about the wreck/salvage story of the Steamboat Arabia.
One of my historian friends made the trek to Kansas City, Missouri to view the site and salvage remains recently.

Logged off the computer after short sessions.

Finished two different graphic novels by Neil Gaiman. Magic and Death. I enjoyed both of them in different ways.

Washed dishes after every meal.

Wiped down high chair.

Spritzed ants with vinegar water. It confuses them so they don't come back.

Put away clean dishes from the dishwasher.

Cooked up a pan of vegetables for the our lunch and actually got the little girl to try them. She likes broccoli and green beans when they are sauteed with garlic and curry paste.

Washed the cast iron skillet and re-seasoned it with oil.

Cleaned and shined the bath tub, including swiping the crud that builds up on the corners. Then I enjoyed taking a bath!

Containerized all toys before bed.

Changed several diapers, poopy and otherwise.

Didn't get annoyed when the little girl threw her juice or milk cup on the floor.

Cut up apple and banana for the little girl.

Cut up a small watermelon with a melon baller.

Ate good food myself including fruit and the aforesaid vegetables.

Neatened crib.

Brought in mail, prepared outgoing bills, read city newsletter.

Read local newspaper, worked a few puzzles.

Make grocery lists.

Took pictures of my cabinet storage.

Snuggled cats.

Pulled up and restraightened coverlet on bed.

Retrieved dirty clothes for laundry hampers.

Pre-tore a stack of soft bath tissue for butt wipes. This is our new strategy for dealing with the little girl's sensitive bottom.

Logged in some of the new baby clothing on my clothing spreadsheet. This is just to keep track of what I have and where our clothing gaps are.

Thought about the question "If you had to get rid of half of your stuff, what would you keep?"

Sorted drawer of long-sleeved shirts into To Give Away, To Keep, and On Probation.

Tried on stack of loungewear pants, decided which to keep (one pair out of the pile).

Reorganized some blouses in the closet.

Updated travel packing list.

Thought about possible quilting project with yummy colors/prints I already have.

Sneakily listened to music clips of possible birthday present for DH.

Stepped up to soothe when little girl got fussy. Poor baby has a runny nose today. Wiped nose repeatedly.

Nursed.

Sang bedtime songs.

Wrote another post.
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One In, One Out

As I've been decluttering and slowly paring down my possessions, one maxim that I'm trying on for size is: For every item you bring home, get rid of another item. While I agree with the idea in a general sense, this month, I am trying that more literally.

So I brought home some new jeans and flannel pajama pants from a clothing exchange. And a sweater or two. Before I agree to move them into my clothing stash, I need to decide which of my existing clothes to get rid of. Am I ready to let go of the jeans that don't quite fit well any more? Are the newer jeans actually good enough to replace them? I ask myself. A couple of the "new" clothes are duds after all and I'm sending them back out immediately. Into the Goodwill pile for you! Likewise, I am trying to decide if the new sweater I got is "good enough" to replace another sweater. At least one of them has got to go. Maybe I'll get rid of that ugly, scratchy black oversized cardigan my cousin passed on to me in the '70s or that little plum colored sweater that's a little too short.

We rounded out our plate collection recently because there's a certain size of small plate that we use all the time. In fact, we never have enough of them. So in with four smaller plates, and out with... another four dishes of some sort. Maybe the hand-thrown bowls that are not actually much use. We never use them, have never used them, are not likely to ever grab them if we have the choice. Okay! That was easy enough. Usually I have to go look at what I have.

Sometimes I get a head start on giving things away.

I got rid of a strangely-patterned tablecloth and napkins last month. Of course, the week afterwards, my mother found another napkin that went with the set. Now isn't that funny! With no guilt, I told her that I honestly couldn't remember where I'd even gotten the thing, and that I'd passed it on. Gift from a relative? Oops! Oh, well. Out of the house, out of mind. I have another set of napkins + table cloth that I am also getting rid of. I've been "getting rid" of them for years. I got them at a great price, but I've never used them and the color is not strictly just right. Time to put that one on the Goodwill pile so it'll be out of the house, out of mind as well.

This week I had a chance to give away gobs of baby clothes (including all the preemie clothes that most babies won't fit into) to a mother-baby support organization. Once I started pulling things out of the closet, I started saying, "Here, you can have the pair of organic cotton swaddlers for the new mother of twins." Oh, and these leftover bags of new diapers (now too small for my daughter), and the other box of 0-3 months age clothing, and this spare blanket, AND my entire bag of flannel receiving blankets (which somehow multiply like rabbits when one has a new child). It was good feeling. I then started looking at my collection of baby bottles. Yup, I can pass pretty much all of that along. My decluttering karma is very happy.

Then I recently found a new Goodwill outlet near my sister's house. She had found some cute clothes for the little girl, so I went over there myself to see what could be had. I found more baby clothing items, including some very nice pajama sets (which we never seem to have enough of), a stuffed mouse for the baby ("Mis!" she calls the it), and several great new tops for myself in yummy colors. Men's shirts also looked promising, but I didn't have time to peruse them seriously.

So I have a few more baby clothes for the next year or so, and several great new long-sleeved tops... and therefor, I tell myself, I should get rid of the same number of existing tops!

This is a good excuse to go through my twenty-year old stash of long sleeved shirts and replace them with updated styles and colors. Maybe I'll get rid of that deep sea green shirt with the heavy cuffs. Or the spicy mustard-color shirt. Oy, when was the last time I wore that? Or the taupe thing with a tight collar. Gak!

But I'm being difficult.
I remind myself, All of the old shirts could be useful.
My decluttering self says, Sharrup! When have you worn that since you moved here? Get rid of it now!

I'm going to have to take them out and put them side by side with the new shirts and tell myself it'll be okay. Like a prisoners exchange.

I'll trade you one awful shirt for one nice shirt. Yes, they are awful shirts. You are so tired of earth tones, you've told me so. Now get them out of the house! Take my shirts, please.

But what if I don't have anything to wear when it gets cold? I whine.
You'll be forced to wear better and more attractive shirts! my decluttering self snorts.

Then we'll play sad music on tiny violins and solemnly bid the old shirts adieu and hide them in the thrift store box, and do a little dance of decluttering glee. Take no prisoners.
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Down Time from the Digital Roar

Just after writing about the Digital Detox Week, I came across this interesting article in the Unclutterer blog echoing some of the same ideas I have been thinking about managing ones focus and creative time. Organizing the Creative Mind by guest blogger and author Scott Belsky. I love the title, even. Doesn't it sound so warm and encouraging? Yes, it is possible to organize the creative mind!



It seems he has a book as well, Making Ideas Happen, which also sounds worth finding.

He offers several observations about how you might "organize projects and manage your energy" to make your ideas happen.

This article is chock-full of inspiring ideas, but the one idea that really hit me, especially in regards to the Digital Detox Week, is how we have been conditioned to be "reactive" with our energy - responding to endless input - rather than proactive. To avoid getting sucked into the vortex of incoming emails, messages and other contact, he says,

some people schedule “windows of non-stimulation” in their day. For a 2-3 hour period of time, they minimize their email and all other sources of incoming communication. With this time, they focus on a list of goals – not their regular tasks, but long-term items that require research and deep thought

I am reminded of some kinds of meditation in which one sits quietly and quiets the mind so as to notice what ones deeper self might have to say. Who can hear the whispers of our soul beyond the shouting of the demands of our life?

The internet is endless stimulation of one sort or another. Expand that to include all digital devices, and it's clear many of us live thoroughly washed in a dull roar (or deafening shout!) of input. Who can hear quieter whispers beyond all that input? Not me.


Perhaps I am so smitten with this description because it seems to frame the unplugging as a respite from the onslaught. Unplugging for a while is not just a nice idea; it's necessary "down time."

I'm looking forward to pursing other projects that have nothing to do with the digital world. Maybe I will look about me with new eyes. Perhaps I will put my hands on real life projects, something with texture and heft and scent. Perhaps I will find mental space to think about deeper issues in my life. How is my life going? What new goals are pushing forward for attention? Perhaps I will take more naps and laze about on the couch. Sleep is always good.


Scott also writes about what he calls insecurity work, those "small repetitive actions don’t help you make ideas happen.....just help you feel safe." Yeah, I'll check email one more time, look for an update one more time. I can see how that would chew up lots of energy and time. It's likely that the smaller the distraction, the more ultimately time consuming it is because one doesn't even notice the minute bits of energy put into them. They add up without one even noticing.

My hope for unplugging includes being more aware of how I use my digital time. Am I just spinning my wheels? How much of what I do is actual productive time? When I'm conscious of what I am doing, I have to admit that much og what I do online amounts to nervous tics of faux productivity.


I'm still a little nervous about unplugging. What if something comes up that really needs my attention? What if somebody really needs to get my answer on something? What if I am overrun with emails while I am gone? What if my sister or friend needs me? What if...?

It's a good thing to notice, huh? What energy am I losing feeling anxious about keeping plugged in? I'm thinking that whatever it is that's landing in my inbox, certainly nobody is dying, or losing money or sleep over it, so I might as well let it go for a while.

I was just gifted with fresh strawberries. I'm think I'll start the week with pie.
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Things I am Loving This Week So Far

Ceasarinni bread, airy, chewy, eggy bread with a crust of seeds, like sitting down to breakfast in Italy.

Taking the time to bask in bright dappled sunlight + a cool breeze off the river.

Baby clothes neatly folded and organized.

Online touch typing lessons.

A freshly washed kitchen floor.

The crunch of sugar in the crust of a dessert muffin.

Snagging heirloom tomato seedlings, leading to high hopes for Summer gardening.

Little girl giving us ankle hugs.


"I'm a hugger, not a biter."

Punny humor.
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Digital Detox Week: Unplugging the Beast

Last week I ran across a suggestion organized by AdBusters: Unplug yourself from all your digital and internet devices for a Digital Detox Week. Sounds like something I could use more/less of so of course I promptly went back to evil FaceBook and forgot about it. Luckily, I had written it down in my calendar. It starts Monday, April 19th, 2010.


It's a "nice idea" but will it work? Is it possible? And more importantly, am I willing to make it happen??

I think it will work.

Taking a break from the way we usually do things can give us new perspective and fresh insight, a mental break. We don't even see our life as it is sometimes, so buried in the virtual world are we. The digital world has become the air we breathe. Taking a step back... nay, taking a huge step back will give room to get past the nattering of our mind - has anybody sent me an email/said something clever/done something shocking or newsworthy? - and see what our lives have become. There will be space to consider what we really want our lives to be like, rather than floating through our days trying to keep up with the flood of information and endless entertainment.

I think it is possible.

On those occasions that I have been backpacking and far in the wild (without a cellphone or iPod, of course!), I have found myself sinking into a more observant and meditative state. I renew my contact with my and the world's deepest cycles of eat sleep work breathe play. And I come back to my everyday light with new eyes and an appreciation of the principles and qualities of a life of clear and simple purpose. On those rare occasions that I am cut off from the internet, it can be refreshing to focus on other things. So unplugging for a week on purpose is likely to also give me a more observant and clear-eyed state.

I am willing to make it happen.

I tell myself I am. I know it will be good for me, BUT... Ha. The "but" is of no real consequence or substance. I am used to allowing myself a generous amount of disconnection through reading on the internet. I am a bit scared to unplug. I need some of that entertainment to distract and sooth myself. Perhaps that all the more reason to do it. Like going to bed at a reasonable hour, I can make it happen, if rarely. Somehow, I think this will be easier.

I think it needs to happen.

Notice that this is a question that I skipped right over as a given. Yes, yes, yes. It does need to happen. I get so caught in the digital world. Perpetually exciting and tantilizing with one more contact, one more piece of information, one more connection just out of reach. One more creation, one more sentence, one more distraction. One more thing taking me away from the equally important but often more neglected rest of my life.

. . .

I think I will have an easier time of it if I set myself some targets and can push myself past the initial resistance to take action.

It helps me is to set a target time to be off the computer or into bed.

It also helps to actually turn off or put my computer to sleep for the duration. If I don't turn it off, I am periodically tempted to mosey by and see what is going on, but once I click "Sleep," the big screen goes dark, and I'm forced to get up and walk away. Happily enough, once I submit to leaving it off, it loses some pull on me. I can avoid sitting down in front of the machine and am free to enjoy or focus on something else in the real world.

Of course, I don't have a job that requires use of the internet or computer. I don't have a palm pilot or any sort of fancy phone-camera-internet-pager device that keeps me tethered.

I don't have complete confidence that I will be able to restrain myself from checking email at least every so often, so I am prepared to give myself one timed online session a day. Maybe every other day. We shall see how I do.

I am hopeful, though, that once I accept my unplugged state, I can release my digital preoccupations and move on to other occupations.

It will be interesting to see what else I do that week!


It starts Monday, April 19th. Anybody else interested?
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