ten good things

Hello, it's been too long. I've been engaging with the life in front of me. And I have ten good things to list. At least ten.

1. The little girl dancing and dancing and dancing to live, lively, exciting music, with the occasional little hop. "Oh! That's some good dancing!" she says.

2. Sitting in the sunshine for an hour, talking to one of my original mentors and teachers.

3. The little girl petting the cat every so gracefully, head to tail. And the cat does not object.

4. Dinner inspirations: Mahi mahi braised with roasted potatoes, red peppers and mushrooms, with plenty of garlic, curry paste, basil, thyme, marjoram, turmeric, chili powder and paprika.

5. My dear husband taking child bedtime duty yet again.

6. Peonies getting ready to burst into profuse blooms.

7. Unearthing my wildly overgrown half acre and creating new outdoors spaces.

8. Dancing with friends, immersed in irrepressible music and happy faces.

9. Personal stories of birth and death and amazing grace and heartbreaking tragedy, pulling us all into what it means to be human.

10. Community smiles and delight in the latest small person to practice being a part of the community.

Bonus: The little girl learning to interact with other people: playing ball with neighboring boys, handing a balsa wood airplane to a friend again and again for one more glide, and daring to chat with big people.



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Slowly, I Get A Lot Done

Whoa, I have been too busy to keep up with the internet much. Sorry! But I have been throwing myself at numerous practical/fun projects, fed my numerous inspirations.


I've been reading and enjoying all the breath-of-fresh-air inspirations on SouleMama's blog. I don't live on a homey homestead in Maine with a gaggle of kids, but I create my own version of that in urban/suburban North Carolina.

Baking homemade pans of vegetarian lasagna (nearly every week) with squash and zucchini and carrots and sometimes other green things.

Writing out a weekly menu on a little white board. There is the lasagna, of course, and vegetable stir fries with fish, or a stew or soup or simply a pot of brown rice to eat with sauteed veggies or stew or baked into a casserole or eaten plain with a little salt or cheese.

Fine tuning my thrify-deal-seeking strategies. Sometimes I stock up, sometimes I say -Oh heck, not this month- but I'm always monitoring and adjusting and learning to be wiser.

Slowly moving salvaged/scavaged field rock for my new garden wall. This has been on hold for several years. Every week, I try to move a few more sets of stone over to my launching pad for the assembly.

Moving towards sweater inspirations from SouleMama. I've never knit a sweater, but I knitted mittens for a gift recently (first time for that also), so this can't be that much harder, just different. I can follow directions. I just need to assemble my materials and attention.

Slowly cleaning up the last tree to come down during the arborist crew's visit. Most of the major tree debris was chipped into an impressive pile of mulch. Mulch slowly being moved about in the yard. The last tree did not make it into that pile, so I am chipping and clipping away at the pile of branches and filling up yard waste bins every week. And then there are always stray branches and leaves et al to clean up.

Walking to the park with my little girl when the weather allows it. Some days she wears snow pants for the cold, others, a hat for the sun. She gets playground time, and I get a workout from pushing baby+stroller up and down swoopy hills in the neighborhood.

Visiting the library regularly. I end up reading a variety of books in the evening. I have my stack, and the little girl has her stack. Every so often I return things on time. Some times we make it there for story time or craft time. In between, we read, read, read.

Finishing the hand quilting on a coverlet comforter for the little girl. The project is thrown together and not very precise, except for my vision of what it will be: a fluffy-soft-cozy-colorful comforter with double layers of insulating batting for keeping warm on cold nights. Only the edging left to sew. I've been working on this since before Christmas. Hopefully completed before Spring! Other quilting/sewing projects are lingering around.

Sewing up a set of "door snakes" or draft stoppers. Another SouleMama inspiration, I think. Looking for some basic muslin to make these, I came across an old (stained but sturdy) set of pillow cases. I cut them up and sewed them up. Now I just have to fill them up! In the same vein, I'm starting to tackle weather stripping on the doors, which we suddenly realize need it, badly.

Finding a filter to fit our new furnace vent. Oddly enough, given the location of it, we need something other than the high-end pleated filters. Even more oddly, the cheaper version is hard to come by.

Started amassing a pile of microfiber and other cleaning cloths in an attempt to reduce our paper towel usage.

Calling up friends or relatives to chat or visit at opportune slices of time. Snagging conversation and sharing or sharing food. It's not that I have lots of time to visit, but I try to catch those moments.

Keeping up with the little girl on a daily, hourly basis. I try to throw in a little art, a little number play, a little music, a little directed imaginative playtime in small bites. She herself pursues lots of activities and talks about them all the while. I am continually amazed and entertained by the breadth and creativity of her verbal expressiveness. I think she might take after her gregarious mother. :) She's reciting books and singing songs and pretending to give shots to the cats. She's survived her first ear infection and learned to take her medicine happily. She's also warming up for her terrible twos. Whee! Being present to her as she explores the world and develops into her own understanding is a worthy endeavor, always.

Yes, I'm still trying to eat less, declutter more (I didn't even mention the on-going office project!), be present, be appreciative of the life in front of me. If all my projects are progressing slowly or imperfectly, they are still progressing. Progress over perfection, I say. And it's so nice to be present to what I have.
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Ten Minute Toddler Crafting

I've been trying to do more crafting with the little girl these days. Not only has she been missing out on the wild and messy fun side of creativity, but she hasn't had as many opportunities to practice her important fine motor skills as I'd like.

I'm finding it a little challenging. One is not born knowing how to swipe a glue stick, and I find myself being absurdly anxious about it. To which I tell myself: Oh just stop! Perfect is not the point!

My number one task: Relaxing enough to let my natural neat-freakness go while the little girl makes creative messes without my visible or audible complaint.

Her number one task: Figuring out how things fit together. You mean this goes on there? And then what? Oh, it looks pretty, yes. And then something else will stick to it? Get out!

Some of our artsy projects:

Crayons on Table or Easel
We've tried regular crayolas, washable crayons, and large, triangular washable crayolas. I like the washable aspect, but even the regular ones have been fun. We have taped pieces of paper to her little table, but now that she has an easel, that's even easier to scribble daily. And she's been wanting to learn a writing grip. She calls the triangular crayons "pens" and asks us to "help hold it." She then tells us, "Ah signing my name," which I think is a take-away concept from the book, Little Bear's Friend. (After his friend, Emily, gives Little Bear a pen, his mother teaches him how to hold it so he can learn to write his name.) We've also been practicing making "M" lines up and down and circles. (That's had minimal progress so far, but you know... baby steps.)

Pros: Immediate feedback, immediate color, immediate gratification. It does not matter how you hold it.
Bonus: Results can be used for thank you notes.
Cons: Non-washable waxy color may end up under fingernails or in odd places like books or walls or car seat straps.

Round Ink-Paints
These are water soluble inks contained in a colorful ball shape with a little brush sticking out. The ball shape is supposed to be easier for little hands to hold, but she's been finding them hard to direct. The little brushes end scraping the paper sideways rather than head on because of the way she's holding them. She was also mightily interested in the brushes themselves (a stiff acrylic), and would finger the bristles repeatedly, getting inks all over her fingers. But we tried pressing her ink-stained fingers onto the paper to make finger prints, and making blobs of ink on paper folded in two for Rorschach-like designs.

Pros: Bright, no-spill colors, very easy clean up with NO color residue.
Cons: Sometimes hard to get the ink started and not as easily directed as a pencil shape.

Draw the Face
I drew largish circles on a piece of paper and talked her through the parts of the face, drawing as I went. She knows all the parts and enjoyed the naming parts. Then I had her try to approximate the locations on a fresh blank circle herself. Scribble, scribble. Well, maybe I need larger circles or she needs more practice. Oh, well. It was good for a few minutes at the car mechanics'.

Pros: Quick and easily adapted to the materials on hand.
Cons: She may not be up to the task. (Yet!)

Stickers in Shapes
This was another project I just winged after reading about it. I drew a heart shape on a piece of paper and had her place numerous small stickers inside the shape. She did not quite understand the concept of placing them inside the lines, but she had the concept of placing them, if not placing them in a particular place.

Pros: It's easy to press stickers to stay, and it's good practice placing within a shape. Not much prep work required other than having stickers available.
Cons: One could go through a lot of stickers.

Glue Sticks and Tissue Paper Collage
I finally found the new glue sticks I'd bought, and pulled out the box of colorful tissue paper scraps I'd prepared earlier, and a piece of paper upon which to stick them. Then we had a short tutorial on how to apply the glue via stick, how to pick a piece of tissue, place it where there was some glue, and press it down. It was harder for her than you'd think. She wanted to hold the glue stick and draw with it. The glue made a pretty purple streak which faded as it dried. I had her stick her finger on it. Oh! You mean it's sticky? She did chose her own tissue pieces and where to place them, but the matching of location and sticky spot was a point of confusion, not to mention why we were doing this at all. Although the activity was mostly a mystery to her, it was a start!

Pros: Practice making creative decisions and applying the glue. Easy to prep ahead. No end result expected other than sticking things on paper.
Cons: Glue can end up in hair, on table, etc. Selection constrained by what materials one can find.

Gingerbread Cookies
This was mostly an exercise in handling dough. At that time, it was mostly about squashing balls flat and rolling "snakes," and pressing currents into cookie shapes before baking.

Pros: Edible modeling medium. Lesson in dough > cookie transformation. Did I mention it was edible?
Cons: May want to eat raw dough.

I'm finding that when working with toddlers, it helps to not only tolerate a mess, but to prepare ahead, and to plan for a short activity. At least with us, it give the little girl maximum time to to play and explore the activity without too much frustration, and before she loses interest or gets overwhelmed. Sometimes one can move only in babysteps. At least by taking small steps, I tell myself, you eventually get somewhere different! So it's still good. And hopefully, fun!

The website Kids Craft Weekly has been a recent source of inspiration. I am wanting to make sparkly glitter bugs next, maybe in a heart shape for Valentine's Day.

Other ambitions: fingerpainting, painting with real brushes and real paint, stamping with paint, making valentines-theme crafts (colored cellophane to sticky clear paper, etc), using real glue (gasp!), and somebody was making making soft pretzels recently, so we want to, too (yum!). I have some good inspirations these days.

Now must find or make craft smock!
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A Whole Lotta Reverbing

Reverb10 has been prompting us to reflect on the past year. Here are some quick responses to prompts in the last week.


December 21 – Future Self (Author: Jenny Blake)

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Your daughter's childhood is going by so fast. Enjoy it all! Don't worry too much about your career path. You'll have time to work on that later. Just make sure you are ready to jump on that horse when the opportunity arises. Your life is right in front of you right now, so enjoy the heck out of it!

Also, get your finance in order! It doesn't have to be perfect, just legible.

Bonus note to my past self:
Don't wait to do things with people you admire and like. Sometimes people get taken away from you by sheer random circumstances, so appreciate everyone in your life right now.


December 22 – Travel (Author: Tara Hunt)

How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I traveled to the coast to enjoy the New Year with friends. I traveled several times for calling gigs. I traveled several times (including once solo with my daughter) to see various family and cousins. It was fun. Next year, we are taking a 12 hour trip to see one cousin I haven't seen in nearly a decade.

I'd like to do more short vacation travels to both the coast and the mountains. I'd like to get back to calling more in the region.


December 23 – New Name (Author: Becca Wilcott)

Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

When I was in high school, I accidentally reversed my first and middle names on the reference cards our teacher asked us to fill out. For the first couple weeks, my teacher called me by my middle name. It was a very odd, yet liberating experience. I could be this new person! I could be anyone! I already use my grandmother's name as a handle around the internet.

But I don't think I'd change my name. I own it pretty well.


December 24 – Everything’s OK (Author: Kate Inglis)

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

When my daughter actually put herself to sleep, and it was early enough so that my husband and I could sit on the couch together in the evening. That had been an impossibility before. We looked at each other and said "Wowww, isn't this nice?" then collapsed in giggles. We realized that we were going to get our relationship back despite the demands of parenting. We still have that awareness of our intimate companionship.


December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself (Author: Tracey Clark)

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.



My husband took this of me and my daughter in our front yard.

I like that it shows me in one of my favorite new skirts with leggings because I have hope that I can find my fashion sense after decades in jeans and chinos.

I also like that it shows me in my everyday life as a mother. I'm loving and attentive. I like to share my appreciation of the world with my daughter.


December 26 – Soul Food (Author: Elise Marie Collins)

What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

A roasted vegetable stew. Fall root veggies roasted with garlic, rosemary and salt, then stewed and mashed. It spoke of a hearty harvest and of feeding my family with food both delicious and nutritious.


December 27 – Ordinary Joy (Author: Brené Brown)

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

When my daughter decided she'd rather sit in the booster seat for meals, we really enjoyed sitting at the table as a family.


December 28 – Achieve (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down.

Clearing space in the house.

I already cleared significant space in the living room for Christmas. We all felt the lightness and joy that comes from having clear space to play in. It made me want to get rid of or pack away even more of my possessions and/or clutter. I imagine I'll feel even happier and more energetic with less stuff weighing us down.

Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

10 things to do/thoughts to think to have more clear space:

1. Pack away things we are not using much.
2. Sweep the floor frequently.
3. Donate some books.
4. Shred some paper.
5. Clear clutter piles off all chairs.
6. Put some bigger unused baby gear up for sale on Craigslist.
7. Take tools from renovation back into the basement.
8. Throw out old receipts and utility statements that are past usefulness (that's virtually all of them!).
9. Pack up old baby clothes and get them out of the house!
10. Don't buy anything new in January (except house renovations).

Bonus 11: Notice how happy and energetic clear space makes me feel.


Okay, that's it for now! Happy Christmas week!
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5 Minutes of What I'd Want to Remember from 2010

Another reflective prompt from reverb10.

December 15 – 5 Minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

Okay, timer started. I'd like to remember:

My daughter going strawberry picking for the first time and devouring a huge berry fresh from the plant.

Going camping with the three of us at a dance weekend. Hanging out with the community. The baby learned to give high fives. DH and I get to dance together for the first time in two years! A romanic, heartfelt waltz.

Calling to some of my favorite dance communities. Calling a dance I wrote at some friends' wedding, and they really liked it!

The baby when she first learned to walk - running back and forth between us, so excited and proud of herself.

Seeing a friend after more than 15 years on different continents! Warm and comfortable conversation.

Visiting another college friend and her family - hanging out, talking, noshing on dessert, and playing with toys.

The little girl getting taller and taller, and her delight at climbing and sliding and dancing and bouncing and talkingtalkingtalking. All the funny things she says. The way she comes running into our arms for a hug. She requests "sing barefeet" or "ead Orax." "Where 'Cuzi go? I go find 'Cuzi." " Ah heah Daddy peeling carrots!" "Ah make a big noise!"

Conversations with my husband in the middle of the night about our daughter and about life. We're tired, but it's so nice. Giggling at silly things.

Cooking projects - yummy! Making corn chowder and lasagna and peppermint bark. Crazy!

Tracking my Dad's progress as he ran the NYC marathon, and calling him moments after he crossed the finish line.

Hanging out with my cousins. Comfortable conversations about our parents and our children and our house projects.
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Dazzled With Decorations

The tree glimmers in the dim room. I am up late drinking tea and nursing a head cold, but the sight of the tree lifts me past my discomfort.

This must be the best tree I've ever decorated in my life. Shiny colored balls of every size and hue dot the branches, concentrated in the top half, while other ornaments dangle or nestle throughout. Strings of lights wind around from the top of the high central spike down the slender shape, flashing out or peeking from behind ornaments ranging from straw stars tied with red thread and hand-pressed paper angels, to glue-and-glitter sweet gum balls from twenty years ago and my baby's hand print made just last year. And the gold foil and glitter wrapped star I made years ago presides over it all. Yes, this is the best one. Because my daughter is here to see it.

We went tree shopping earlier this week, in the middle of a bitter cold of course, because most of our tree shopping incites strange weather - last year, it was sleet-snowing on us - and after it was erected properly and the lower branches soaped (to deter cats from taking ill-advised bites out of it), we let it drink and rest.

A day later followed the wrapping of the lights. I wait to see my daughter's reaction. Kissme ites! My daughter says. Mommy made it! Yes, Mommy put the lights up. More drinks for the tree, more resting.

Today during nap time, I strung antique bulbs along the mantle and started unloading ornaments onto the upper half of the tree. First, some of my favorite glass bulbs, then certain special ornaments I want featured prominently, then the red bulbs, and the gold ones, and the old-fashioned molded glass from India, and oh yes, the set of blues and greens I picked up from the thrift shop, and oh yes! the new box of miniature reds. I leave a few of them within reach. It's not too early to learn how to treat a glass bulb gently, and if a couple of them break, oh well, they are not the special ones.

I save several boxes for my daughter to help with. I'm waiting for her to wake up and exclaim over the tree, and she does. Decor-Ay-shuns! she calls them. And I show her how to open the loop of string and place it over a branch, preferably one that does not droop, and how to hook a piece of wire onto a likely spot. She doesn't have much patience for the particulars, but she exclaims over the snowflakes, the stars, the birds, and other cunning designs of color and shape. She handles the fake cardinals with wires sticking out of their feet, the be-glittered sweet gum balls (practically antiques), the striped elfs from my husband's childhood. She rings a finger on the painted steel bell ornament from my grandfather's farm. She pokes into the bag of ornament hooks.

Bah-ohs, she keeps saying as she fondles yet another globe. Oh! Anah-oh bah-oh! I keep waiting for the balls to spring back from her hand and hurl themselves to the hearth, but they stay stuck fast to their branches.

The birds, the stars, the snowmen, all familiar characters. Angels and soldiers are a new one. She's convinced the little mouse in walnut shell is a cat. She runs away with one angel chime figure, clutching it her chest while she climbs into the recliner. We give the tree another drink. Ahter for uh tree!she says.

The rest of the evening, she's drawn back to the tree again and again to hold and inspect ornaments within reach. The colors, the shapes, the lights. It's utterly fantastic and normal, both, just like in all the books we've ever read. Iss nice, she declares. And we haven't even gotten to the icicles yet. I'm telling you; best tree ever.
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So Beautifully Different - Whoo!

Reverb10 has a cool series of writing prompts to prompt reflection at the end of the year. I'm behind - this one is from two days ago.

December 8 – Beautifully Different

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Karen Walrond)

This is an especially interesting exercise to me, because even though I've felt different since I was a child, I've never been able to really figure out HOW I am different, or WHY.

When I was younger, I think it was mostly because I noticed many things, and I reacted in unusual ways, and other people often treated me as if I were different (and reacted well or badly according to some mysterious algorithm). Yet I could never figure out why that was, or what, exactly, it was, much less what I was supposed to do to "fix" it to be more like other people.

In my adult life, I've come to know a variety of people who appreciate my differences and quirks. Sometimes I will get comments about my "great energy," but I'm still a little mystified.

And now as I try to think about what makes me different (and beautiful), I keep feeling that I am somehow letting my ego run away with me. Look at me! How wonderful I am! Har.


1. I have a way of taking people into an inclusive circle, especially when I am speaking publically. My husband calls this speaking as if I were "addressing each person personally." Not that this manifests in all areas of my life, but I do have the knack, and I have a hard time leaving someone out, so it often comes out in my tone.

2. Making quirky, wryly humorous remarks. Some people might say that was an aggravating flaw, but you can't deny that it sticks out. In a public role, it tends to entertain people.

3. I am easily moved. I typically get all choked up when someone graduates, sings, or crosses a finish line against all odds. Certain music brings me to weeping. I suppose I am still sensitive to the beauty in the world, including the beauty of beating out odds and throwing oneself against a noble task.

4. I am self-deprecating as all get-out. Another item that could be placed in the annoying category. Sorry, sorry.

5. I see beauty in mundane things. This is one of the reasons that I couldn't give up photography even when painting wasn't working for me; I need to capture what I am seeing. I cherish nearly everything. One of the biggest compliments that I ever got was from one of my students after she saw my Flickr site - "It's as if you appreciate ... everything!" Yes, it's true.

6. I have a glowing smile, apparently. I have a hard time judging this for myself, but I do feel a heady joy at times. I do light up. Sometimes I like to go by Joy! It's how I prefer to live life when I am not bitching and complaining.

7. I have a subtle and literate sense of humor. Can you tell? I am always delighted when I meet someone of a similar bent. Okay, okay, sometimes it is very punny too.

8. I was raised to exercise my artistic creativity and out of mainstream culture. When I say mainstream, I'm talking about middle class America values. My parents didn't want us to live with a tv in the house. They thought we should be free to exercise our creativity without resorting to pre-defined parameters. So no coloring books, just lots of blank paper. No tv, but lots of books and stories. Lot of outdoor playing in the yard and dead-end street. I guess it gave me an appreciation for thinking out of the lines.

9. I don't like tv as a daily part of my consciousness. I enjoy pop culture in moderation, and I like a good story, but I can't stand the tv culture of sound bite journalism and fast flashy cuts. Too much of it makes me feel a little ill. I'd rather be out walking, or dancing, or reading, or writingpaintingthinkingcookingcreating. I've seen maybe a third of an episode of the series Friends and none of any reality show, and I so don't care. Yes, I am odd.

10. I'm enthusiastic. I know it's considered uncool to show any enthusiasm about anything, but I really don't care. If I like something or find it worthy of interest, I'll point it out, rave about it, savor it. Life is good. Enthusiasm rocks! Whoo!
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