Daily Rhythms and Other Challenges (SWDB)

The Simple Woman's Daybook for NaBloPoMo

For Today...Friday, November 7th

Outside my Window...drifts of willow oak leaves and maples turning yellow and orange. Late sunlight hitting the tops of the trees.

Towards a daily rhythm...I find it hard to keep up with the piles on my desk. I try to put away things as I finish using them and junk the stuff I don't use. It's easy to put away things that have a definite home - it's quick and satisfying - but there are too many things that do not have a home! I am trying to remedy that. I am really tired of piles. Part of the problem is that I still have too many things from past lives, bulky stuff from past careers taking up space. However, I keep at it.

I am thinking...that I have so many projects clamoring for my attention that I don't even time to read much these days.

I am thankful for...a car with good gas mileage! Even if it's not quite as great as the old Honda.

From the kitchen...I'm saving seeds from the heirloom sweet peppers for another season. These are not commercial seeds, although sometimes you can buy them. The friend who promotes biodiversity (who I inherited them from originally) says, "Give them away! Give them to everybody!" So I save the seeds and keep planting!



I am wearing...brown yoga pants with a wide waistband and a stretchy aqua top that shows off the belly. And sneakers and earrings.

I am reading...Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg with Peter Rosegg. We'll start childbirth classes in the next couple of weeks, but we are getting a head start by reviewing this reference (which I've owned for years). It was published in 1984 and has a semi-preachy-dogmatic tone, but it still contains lots of good information about the labor process and relaxation tools. Trained observation and relaxation, yu-huh!

I am creating...yet another dance program. It's one of those seat-of-the-pants programs. I have ideas, now to make decisions by tomorrow morning.

I am hoping...that our long traveling odyssey this weekend won't kill me too badly. 2.75 hours, plus 3.5 hours, plus 5+ hours plus a 10-15 minute rest break for every hour plus meals = yikes! On the upside, it won't be all at once.

I am hearing...The Elftones (fiddle and guitar) playing a lively reel.

I am going to breathe deeply...and try to not worry about weird little things bugging me that are probably nothing.

Around the house...putting away or throwing out the remaining Halloween candy. I put favorite candy in a couple of small tins where they are out of sight but stored for future snacking. The rest, I ditch with no guilt!

Bring beauty to my home...a big square feather pillow with inter-nested squares of soft taupes, browns, creams, blues and greens. It'll go great either in the bedroom or with the new living room chair we anticipate buying soon.

One of my favorite things...frozen Mexican palletas (pops) in refreshing and unique flavor combinations. This week's favorite: cherry/red currant. Yummm! SO good! I could rave about this at length! (I would happily eat this every day, but we already tried that last year and it was hard on both waistline and budget.)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...laundry, dishes, travel, play, work, read, practice, an IKEA stop, meeting friends for dinner before the dance, and yet another lesson plan.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...


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Bagging It

For NaBloPoMo Nov 6, 2008

"I'm used to bagging my own," I'll say with a smile and a shrug, and I'll start in. If the bagger is not charmed, or easily put off or offended, they will sidle away with a barely-suppressed "Okay, lady, it's all yours." If they are persistent, I'll show them my canvas bags and tell them, "This one works better for heavy stuff." This gives them the hint that I can actually tell if they throw squishables in with canned goods. Most baggers are okay with this kind of indirect direction. If they are not, I'll suggest, "Let's put the squishables in here..." This lets them know that they should pay attention, dammit and Not Squish My Stuff! I have no patience with baggers who sling things in with no thought of safe and efficient packing.

When I was growing up, my mother always told the baggers at the grocery store: "I prefer to bag my own." I think that was partly out of being particular about how things were thrown in after she had spent tens of precious food-budget dollars on our weekly trip, and partly new-found assertive directness, still a rarity among women.

Back then, you didn't bag your own stuff. Nobody did. So this was still a radical thing to do, and you really had to assert yourself. This was even before the advent of plastic bags. Brown paper bags all the way, yes, and we *saved* those suckers. So my mother would watch the whole thing go through the scanner (oh, I'm sorry - that was before scanners too, so you had to watch the check-out clerk), pay, and and then she'd bag up the huge pile of groceries in her precise way. Then we'd go to the next store on our list (each item was ranked by which store it could found most economically) and do it all over again.

So as I began to do my own shopping, I saw nothing odd about bagging my own stuff... or letting someone else do it, either. The one Summer I spent in Europe felt familiar to me; there, everyone not only bags their own, but is expected to bring their own bags. "How cool is that?" I thought. But that was around the time of the advent of the plastic bag, so American were all about the disposable. It was like swimming upstream to reuse bags.

In the last decade, as I began to acquire my first canvas bags (my first ones were a surprise gift from my Sweetie), I learned a whole new way of store-interaction.


a bag of bags

Especially in food co-ops or smaller less mainstream groceries, it was typically expected that each person bag their own purchases. My growing collection of canvas bags didn't stand out so much. Even when the canvas was looked at as unusual, I could get by without too much comment, although they were still a novelty to most people.

DH used to complain that baggers or checkers would become angry and defensive when he pulled out his canvas bags, but I suspect that may be more from a perceived superior attitude. if you pull them out saying, "I have canvas bags," like store bags are the plague, I'm not surprised if the store personnel feel slighted.

My strategy is to be more light-hearted about it. "I prefer to use my own bags," I'll say. "I already have enough of a bag collection at home!" I'll joke. Even in the most mainstream store, they will often laugh along. Yeah, we all have too many bags, really.

I simply reset the parameters a little. If I have two sturdy bags, well, surely we can pack everything in without resorting to another bag.

And now many stores have started to offer their own reusable cloth bags. How cool is THAT? Not that I really need any more cloth bags!

But this is not why I started to write this post.

Now that I have become used to bagging my own stuff, it's hard to break the habit. I *like* packing my own bags. I like the satisfaction of doing it well. I have my strategies and preferences for packing the puzzle. I like my varied bag collection.



I have to admit I love those new self-checkout lanes at some of the major grocers and retailers. Zip, zip, easy, peasy. Especially now that I've learned to alert the monitoring clerk that I will place (for instance) two bags on the bag shelf so they can reset the bag-weight-gauge-thingie. I get satisfaction from my packing strategy.

But some places still have baggers. And they are not gotten rid of so easily. And in some places, why should I get so bent about someone else bagging my stuff if they do a competent job? That is their job, after all.

I've realized that sometimes it's a gift to let someone else do something for you. No, no, I'll bag my own! I don't need to say that automatically. Why not let the baggers feel good about doing their job well (if they do it well)?

Last night, I simply handed the bags to the young man and let him do his thing. I still kept half an eyeball on how he was proceeding, but he seemed to have enough alertness and strategy (keeping some things aside for the top of the bags, etc) that I had confidence that nothing would get squished. And as a bonus, we got to chat a little and enjoy a little social surface-conversation. And I thanked him afterwards, because I have to acknowledge the gift.

Why has this been so hard? To let people do what they can do? As long as I and my groceries don't suffer (too much), why try to control this so much?

I like to think it's more practice for letting my child(ren) practice their competencies without me hovering over them, picking at their performance. It's more practice for me living a more relaxed life with less need for control, less need for perfection, and more appreciation.

Although, still, I love to bag my own stuff.
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The Day After, I can hardly think.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today...Wednesday, November 4th

Outside my Window...leaves littering the grass.

Towards a daily rhythm...sweeping the floor, sweeping the floor, clearing dust and piles of cat hair. Ah.

I am thinking...of what we might do about our kitchen renovation plans now that we can't afford our contractor.

I am thankful for...Wow, where to start? To see so many people come together to make a new story, a fresh direction, fresh hope. Also, I'm thankful for music, fellowship and the softening of hard feelings. We can renew relationships, Yes We Can.

From the kitchen...Cooked up a little garlic and spinach scrambled egg omelet with cheese shavings for myself and starving DH.

I am wearing...maternity jeans that are slowly popping a seam (nothing vital!), and a tan Tshirt. And funky earrings.

I am reading...In the Company of Others by Julie E. Czerneda, on loan from a friend. I think she'll successfully get us hooked in this new-to-us sci-fi author, because this story is goood!

I am creating...new meals for future times.

I am hoping...for more patience, and that the new administration has energy left over after crisises to do some good work. I am hoping I'll make it to an area home-studio tour next year because I'm missing it this year.

I am hearing...one of my cats whining at me, and a little Celtic waltz music.

I am going to breathe deeply...and refocus on my everyday life.

Around the house...One of the side-affects of a rainy Fall is that dried leaves get tracked into the house and end up in unexpected locations. They don't bother me too much - they are nearly impossible to keep up with - but the cats love to chew on them. Every couple of days, I make a sweep to retrieve the most egregious ones.

Bring beauty to my home...getting rid of extraneous stuff in the house that lets our really cherished things be more seen and appreciated.

One of my favorite things...clean fresh cotton bed sheets, especially new ones.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...lunch with one of my politico friends. I've scarcely seen her the last couple of months, so I look forward to hearing election stories. Also, I'm preparing to travel over to a calling gig this weekend, and finding materials from fast food restaurants to help my students learn how to order food. I have plans to make cozy meals this week. Cravings for certain reliable meals.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...


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NaBloPoMo Meets Election Day

I've been so antsy the last day or so, I can barely concentrate on other things unless it's to escape into fiction or a little stress eating.

I voted early this year because I could, because I felt like I should *because* I could.



I voted on a sunny fall day in the early afternoon at my closest early voting polling place, which happened to be the offices of county board of elections. The place was hopping with workers and voters of all colors & ages. A short line in front of me to get in the door, I only waited five or ten minutes to reach a check-in station. I looked around, and took a deep breath, finding myself nearly overcome with emotion, feeling "These are my people," my city, my fellow citizens. Poll workers cheered every time a first-time voter finally slid their optical paper ballot into the machine.

So duty accomplished. I even sorted out all the state and local races. Lots to consider this year.

But I miss the energy of visiting the polls on the day itself. I miss not walking around, canvassing to GOTV the way I did four years ago. I'm not so much into walking or standing these days. Waddling slowly is more my speed. So I feel guilty for not doing more. I'm so grateful that the people who can do more are doing it. I know many friends who are (and have been!) up to their ears in activism or community service. All I feel I can do now is send positive energy and encouragement out into the universe and all my fellow voters and Obama-supporters.









Here are some sites to help track and predict the results of the election:

FiveThirtyEight specializes in electoral projections. Lots of great graphs and maps and analysis.

MyDD (My Direct Democracy) has a poll watcher graphic tracking electoral votes for Obama. I like this one partly because the size of each state is proportionate to the number of EVs is has. It's even in grid format, one square per EV.

The Swing State Project has a great graphic to help track poll closing times for November 4th, 2008. Note that all times are listed in EST, not necessarily local time.

FireDogLake has a great post compiling loads of election day information, a veritable resource guide. Includes links to find your polling place, polling hours, voters rights links, weather reports, places to report your voting experience, places to report voting suppression or irregularities, and more.

The DailyKOS is always good for pre-, present-, and post- election discussion and analysis.

The DailyKOS also has a cool Electoral Scoreboard.
You can toggle the tags to see results in presidential, senate, house and governor races. You can also look at results/distribution from the previous 8 years of elections.

A couple other sites for progressive election-watching:
Booman Tribute

Crooks and Liars

My Direct Democracy

Huffington Post (now with a big tracking graphic)

As always, the BagNewsNotes has lots of discussion about visuals.


Happy Election Day! May it all go as smoothly as possible! No vote stealing allowed.

Gains and Losses

NaBloPoMo Nov 2nd, 2008

I have stuff to post today, it being NaBloPoMo and all, but my mind is not on the post I started last night. With the pre-election jitters ramping up and the recent news of Obama's grandmother's passing, there is more to occupy my mind than generic musings. Or to put it another way, topical events have a way of making other things seem trivial.

It's not that I'm not trying to distract myself from the looming election. It's not that I have the emotional and physical where with all to volunteer much, either.

So election thoughts roll around in my head even while I look elsewhere.

I'm sorry to hear of Obama's grandmother, "Toots," passing. I had a feeling that she might not make it through Election Day... it would be too perfect a universe to have her hold out merely for this historic event.

But I'm so glad that Obama made it over to talk to her before she died. He's clearly a man who cherishes his family.

How proud she must have been, to see this young man turn into someone so impressive, accomplishing so much, and on the verge of gaining an even more historic accomplishment. Even if she wasn't sure that he would win this election, she knew that he had put all his heart and intelligence into making it happen. Even if he didn't win, how can you not be proud of someone who does their amazing best? It must have been a touchstone for her.

And on Barack's side, how bittersweet to go into this last day knowing you had put everything on the line, knowing she might not see the end of it. It seems like one of those O Henry stories in which the sweetest dream coexists with the bitterest loss. And even that is iconic, the archetype of the hero who gains as he loses, loses as he gains.

I selfishly hope that perhaps Barack has already put it all on the line, and so this last day, to lose one of the people closest to him, he is not distracted by what he must do tomorrow, because he's already done it. I hope he will have time to grieve and keep a private space for his family while the election swirls along without him. I wish that space for him, a trust that the campaign and all of his supporters are well-organized enough that they can get along without him for a while, to carry to day as it seems it was meant to be carried. In a sense, the die is already cast. All that is left is for the voters to turn up.

But there will likely be voting challenges. Yucky weather. Vote suppression and intimidate. Challenges and recounts. We can't slack off now. The Dems need perseverance to see this through. We may need to call back Barack from his grief to put another push of personal energy on the line, to push back when things get hairy. OR as the meme goes, leave it all on the road.

JeffLieber says this even better.

And Barack himself salutes his grandmother from the campaign trail, and eloquently ties her in with the average citizen. In the midst of all this craziness, he's still on top of it.
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To Find Yourself Living the Impossible Dream

Recent events have had me musing on how I evaluate my goals.

Disclaimer: This is not about becoming a parent! There are other big goals in life, you know. Whatever sparked this particular musing, it wasn't impending parenthood. :) .


One can put a huge amount of energy into a goal, and find at the end of it that it doesn't bring the satisfaction that you expected. That's happened to me on both large and small goals, things I've wanted to attain (buy), things that I've wanted to attain (achieve).

It can be easy to get so fixated on a given goal or ideal and how much you want it, that the reality cannot live up to the sacrifice required to enact it, or to the reality of having achieved it. I have it, and so now what? Am I happier for all of that?

For some reason, I have in my head some friends of ours who had high ideas for how they live their life and what they wanted to accomplish. I first met them more than a decade ago, my husband, well before that.

This couple had spent well over a decade living on their large, remote, rural plot of land, living a minimalistic life, using various renewable energy technologies, and building their house from scratch. The house was the long-term project, not just the part about living in a tiny homestead box. So they milled their own lumber from their own timber/land, the did all their own labor, with the occasional tenant who would trade work for rent for another of their small homestead houses.

Renewable energy was really their thing, so of course, the house and homestead both were designed to take advantage of both passive and active renewable energy. This ran the gamut from a small hydropower dam on their pond, PV (photovoltaic) panels for their modest electrical needs, passive solar collectors, raising much of their own food, growing shittake mushrooms on logs, maintaining bee hives for honey, maintaining all the structures and fields and trails on their land, etc. This was not simply back to the land for its own sake, but with the larger goal of living with a minimal impact on the environment. And of course, to build their house without spending thousands of dollars.

They resisted the label of "Simple Living," though. The truly *simple* way of living, they sometimes said, was to rent an apartment and work a basic job and come home and watch television. But they had higher ideals, and they worked hard to pursue them.

I heard that they often questioned whether living in this way, rather uncomfortably at times, was worth it. Whether they were doing the right thing. They spent a lot of time working to maintain their land. They lived far enough away from the nearest larger small town that they could not always socialize easily. It was hard to stay out late after a dance when they had to drive back home later. So they made numerous large and small sacrifices over the years.

It was very inspiring for the rest of us. It was even a novelty to visit them and stay a while. They are really great people. But myself, I could not live like that (homesteading with only small progress) for long.

Well, it essentially killed their marriage. The progress on the house and such moved so slowly (over years!), that one person said - I give up; I can't live like this; I want out. And she left.

This is not to say anything bad about either of them. I really admire them, even after they divorced and moved on, although one of them is still living that life. But it seems like an iconic example of a goal that is so huge that once you are embarked on the voyage, it's nearly impossible to turn back without ripping the whole thing up from the ground and starting over.


I'm wary of these huge projects that require so much investment. It's one thing to have a dream; it's another to find yourself with a soul-pit of a project. If I finally get that thing I wanted, and it's not as wonderful as I expected, I have to adjust my expectation and say, well, it's still a good thing, even if it's not the bee's knees.

It's like the ol' fulfillment curve. One aims for the peak, not for over the top... which would put you on the downside of the curve feeling disgruntled and disappointed, and wanting the next good thing because the thing you got was ... somehow... not enough.

I spend my life now weighing where I am on the fulfillment curve. When is something worth throwing in everything I have to accomplish great things? When do I dare to be audacious and shoot for the moon? When is "the best'" over the top of the curve? When is the ideal just not worth the pain?

One lesson I learned from our friends is that yes, follow your dreams and shoot for those goals, even if they are out of the mainstream. I have nothing bad to say about being audacious at times. (We have done our own renewable energy projects and we don't regret it!) But stay flexible, and periodically evaluate whether the thing you have wanted for so long is what you still want. Otherwise, you may find yourself suddenly at a dead end, so wholly invested that you have nothing to do but to scale the walls and escape.
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SWDB Meets NaBloPoMo

It's the first day of November, the first day of NaBloPoMo, and therefor the first post of 30! On with the show!


The Simple Woman's Daybook

For Today...Saturday, November 1st

Outside my Window...the last of the heirloom sweet peppers are slowly ripening.

Towards a daily rhythm...washing dishes on a regular basis. Funny how something so simple can be so satisfying. Cleaning, stacking, putting away in their correct spot, admiring the clean space, ready for the next project!

I am thinking...lots of philosophical thoughts that I will hopefully turn into NaBloPoMo posts!

I am thankful for...yet again, my husband, for giving me new perspectives on anything and everything. I am thankful my physical state is not yet too uncomfortable, and that everything appears good. I am thankful for Fall sunny skies.

From the kitchen...I recently made a real vegetable stir-fry, the first time I've found myself able to actually cook in months! I was ready for it, and excited about eating better food again. Or rather, better food that I had cooked, rather than bought.



I also made a huge double batch of chocolate-chip pumpkin muffins, which seemed to make considerably more than the recipe indicated. I found myself dragging out extra tins and pans to accommodate all of the batter. My excuse was a Halloween party for my students. Unfortunately, fewer than half the students showed up that night, so I had a lot left over, which we've been doing our best to eat and distribute. I froze a few and gave away a few, ate a lot! Mr. Sweetie has been eating them for breakfast. Now the supply is petering out, but that's good. After all, how many of these can we eat in one week? Wait, we don't really need to answer that!



I am wearing...Currently layers of Tshirt and a sweatshirt covered in lighthouses of the US, and thermal leggings. Planning to get dressed soon! Yesterday, I was wearing those wonderful brown yoga pants with a stretchy purple top, some of my favorite maternity wear.

I am reading...An impressive essay ("The Curtain Falls" seen in the Independent Weekly) by Hal Crowther, a progressive cultural/political/opinion writer in NC.

He *notices* things, and writes about them well. He often ties together seemingly disparate elements into a larger cultural narrative. He can turn outrage into art. This last one was one of his spectacular ones, musing over the rise and fall of John Edwards, and the Greek tragedy of it all, the typical, "hypocritical discrepancy between private and public morality," the role that hubris often plays in national politics, the personality-centered focus in American politics and where it's lead us. Needless to say, he writes about it better than I've inadequately summarized it here, and in his finely tuned writing style.

This article is not online (yet), but more of his writing can be found here:

I am creating...yet another dance program, this one for a large crowd of students from a small college, most of whom have never contra danced before. I enjoy finding the ways to get non-dancers up and having fun. The college age kids always have more energy than they know what to do with, so I can't let that faze me. I look for ways to channel that energy into actual dancing. I teach a lot more than usual between dances, and build skills from the ground up, giving them both structure and flexibility. I encourage them to try everything yet be okay with making mistakes as they learn, an important attitude on both sides!

I am hoping...that I won't get sick with a cold after all. *crossing fingers*

I am hearing...the gentle hum of the furnace trying to keep up with the chill air.

I am going to breathe deeply...and try to not worry too much about the election. Especially since I don't have the energy to volunteer much this year.

Around the house...I've been scanning some old photographs from my college days. It's so funny to see these again and marvel at how *young* we were. Even funnier to see people's reactions when I post them on Flickr. Yeah, that was *half* my life ago! Things might have changed just a little.

Bring beauty to my home...stopping to admire the purple salvia that I put in the front garden this Summer. Beautiful color in the sunlight.

One of my favorite things...washing up mixing and prep bowls and utensils as I use them, taking those 3-5 minutes between tasks to keep ahead of the game.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...Getting ready for the next calling gig after this one, preparing myself for the onslaught/culmination of the political season, finishing up some library books, revamping renovation plans, finding things to write about for the *rest* of the NaBloPoMo month!

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...


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