I can't decide how I feel about Mother's Day. Being a mother is gift enough for me, but do I want to expect more and then be disappointed?
I never know what my expectations should be. I've been getting so much attention from my dance community about being a mother. Or at least the baby gets a lot of adoring attention - you know how that goes! And I do the mother thing all day every day already. How could this day be particularly different? Do I want a chorus of angels to sing my praises? Chocolate? Extra sleep? Not saying I'd turn any of that down, you understand. But the whole flowers and special dinner thing seems a bit hollow to me. As Garrison Keillor sung recently, if you really want to honor your mother, give her equal pay for equal work. And for me, acknowledgment and sleep. And chocolate. It's all good. But I didn't know what if anything to expect. We already went out for a large, delectable meal of sushi earlier this week, and I savored every bit of it.
And then Mr Sweetie made a meaningful and funny card full of in-jokes, my favorite kind. I totally did not see it coming. Made me laugh and made me cry a little. Allow me to brag for a moment.
The front of the card had this printed on the paper:
Happy Mother's Day
Daddy helped me make this card for you!
And the inside of the card said this:
Mother's Day Gifts from [the little wookie]:
Ummmm ... things ... in diaper
Oh, how I love those adorable glances! And um, the surprises.
So I've been getting more sleep time today. I'm trying to beat back this cold. Not sure it's working, but the sleep sure is nice. I would have liked to have had more time and energy to work in my garden, but there will be time for that when I feel better.
The super power T-shirt will be awesome too. I've talked about this enough that I should not have been surprised that he tracked it down and ordered one for me. It features a big white and gold "M" logo on it, for "super mother" or something. The slogan reads:
I make milk.
What's your super power?
Hee! Isn't that the most awesome slogan? I do feel that breast feeding is one of my higher callings these days. Even my husband regularly tells me how wonderful it is, how beautiful it is to see me and the baby together, what a wonderful commitment I have made to continue.
Which leads me to....
Some of My Favorite Things About Being a Mother So Far:
Looking for ways my daughter resembles me or her father.
Warm baby snuggles around the neck.
Rows of neat perfect baby toes like a row of corn on the cob.
Seeing her smile of delight when I first pick her up in the morning.
Hearing her make nom nom noises when she first begins nursing.
Taking her out into the world and watching her wonder at music or faces or the feel of wind on her skin.
Singing to her or making silly sound effects when I change her diaper.
The narrative I put to my day. Now Mommy is going to wash your feet. I'm washing the top of your foot, and the bottom of your foot and the sides of your foot. And now I'm cleaning your little toesies! I'm cleaning between your toesies. Do you have any lint in there? Yes, you do! Okay, you're all clean. Mommy is all done!
Noting every little accomplishment or developmental change. The vocalizations, the scooting, grabbing and wrigglings.
Marveling at her being, her existence, my lovely miracle.
Marveling at how my life has changed, and for the better, since my baby is in it.
Despite the spit-up, the worry, the lack of sleep, the complete upheaval of my usual life, nothing could be finer.