Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Weaving and Dodging

Hi, I'm erthsister, and I'm a judgmental driver.

Yes, I am, and so what? Is it too much to ask to keeping your attention on what you are doing?

You, the Packers fan in the small red Mercedes, did you think I didn't notice that you pulled right through that stop sign without stopping? Hello, honey, you in that grey SUV, you are being an idiot tailgating. I'm sure they'll move soooo much faster with you right on their tail. Oh you in the faded blue sedan, I know you are probably just lost. I know that feeling; take your time. But you over there in the silvery car? Stop that weaving about right now. Are you trying to tempt fate to deal you an accident? Both you and the other dark car need to cool it. And you in the Prius, puh-leese stop doing other things while you are driving, especially when I am in the car with you. You're weaving all over the road. Multitasking is not worth risking your life! Or mine, thank you. And while I'm at it, you and you and you need to put away the cell phone-palm pilots and drive. You do know that all that huffing and puffing and swearing won't get you there that much faster, don't you? Yes, the Universe is conspiring against you. Try to not take it out on other drivers. And pay attention because the woods are crawling with deer on this end of the county.

I need one of those zappers to issue citizen's tickets for obnoxious and unsafe driving. Okay, calm down, erthsister. You know you've had your moments.

*No accidents were actually witnessed during the writing of this post. Erthsister is not actually agitated, but she is rolling her eyes at the little red Mercedes.


1 comment:

Flying Saucer Jones said...

Woohoo! I don't feel alone anymore. I too have become less tolerant as I've grown older. I especially despise tailgaters and those that pull out of parking lots with a mobile phone attached to their ear.

Grrr! Gnashing of teeth.